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Smartass!!! Saved by Rebecca Hoyle. 50 shades of grey - Pam Ayres. LOL…great post! This is so funny that I just had to share [i apologise if it's been on here before]. 'Twas Fifty Shades Of Grey. I went to hold her, sensual like “Step on the other one!! An hour later she appeared; The sight filled me with dread. She threw them down upon the floor, And then began to strip. 31. Fifty Shades of Grey - Pam Ayres. Well fifty years or so ago; I might have had a peek; But Mabel hasn't weathered well; Well fifty years or so ago; . Hundredweight's of Christmas cards, Went flying through the post, With first class postage stamps on those, You had to flatter most. aries posted an update in the group QUOTES & THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY 2 minutes ago, aries posted an update in the group Music Alphabet Game 58 minutes ago, goldengirl1224 posted an update in the group PHOTO GROUP 1 hour, 22 minutes ago, Contains spam, fake content or potential malware, Battling the Demons – A Short Story of the Devil and his Deeds. She toppled off her Zimmer! She’s eighty four next week!! And at ten I went to bed. You aching sweetheart bent and crying for your young man, Go home. An hour later she appeared; Please confirm you want to block this member. Of course not! By Pam Ayres of course.. Rather it's apparently from the pen of one John Summers. Oh, I wish I’d looked after me… Life Poems. , hahaha polly loved pam ayres, that was so funny xx, LOL PollPie. A Policeman’s Lot 5…..Another Day, Another…. Apr 13, 2013 #1 The missus bought a Paperback, down Shepton Mallet way, Well readers, I can tell no more;Of what occurred that day.Suffice to say my jet black hair,Turned fifty shades of grey!! And things then went from bad to worse; In her left she held a rope; In her left she held a rope; And in her right a whip! 50 shades of grey - Pam Ayres. About Lockdown – by Pam Ayres I'm normally a social girl I love to meet my mates But lately with the virus here We can't go out the gates. She stood there nude and nakedBent forward just a bitI went to hold her, sensual likeand stood on her left tit! You have shared a last embrace. In her left she held a rope; And in her right a whip! T’was “Fifty Shades of Grey”. Love pam Ayres and this poem had me laughing my head off. Humor for today, this is hysterical, Pam Ayres 50 Shades of Grey Poem. She needed somewhere to go, make a new start, and yet…, Ian Brady and Myra Hindley The Moors murders were carried out by Ian Brady and Myra Hindley between July 1963 and October 1965, in and…, Battling the Demons A Short Story by Tony Killinger “But the unclean spirit, when he is gone out of the man, passes through waterless places,…, The concept of a divinely anointed emissary primed to regenerate the world abounds in universal literature. Could not have been much grimmer. and stood on her left tit! Read all poems of Pam Ayres and infos about Pam Ayres. Funny Poems Fifty Shades Of Grey 50 Shades Haha Funny Funny Stuff Love Poems Funny Stories Poetry Quotes In My Feelings. Bent forward just a bit Fifty Shades of Grey by Pam Ayres: Donate to Marie Curie Cancer Care with Poems, Humour & Words from Poetic Expressions. In her left hand she held a rope; And in her right a whip! T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey". In her left hand she held a rope; And in her right a whip! Well I just left her to it, And at 10 I went to bed. And in her right a whip! If you have read the book or all three ( I’ve only read the first one ) you will find this poem hilarious ! You’d see just why I spluttered, The Sibylline Books is a collection of Greek literatures…, I’ll Remember Too A Short Story by Tony Killinger I wonder now, looking back over the valley of so many years, if I thought there…, Love Pam Ayres – she is one of a kind. Well I just left her to it, And at ten I went to bed. Suffice to say my jet black hair, She struggled back upon her feet; Pomes Remembrance Day Washington Dc Of My Life Meant To Be Poetry Military Peace ... 'Seagull' is featured in the brand new collection, You Made Me Late Again by Pam Ayres. Well I just left her to it,And at ten I went to bed.An hour later she appeared;The sight filled me with dread. I don’t get it, but it threw the imagination into overdrive. LOL . Oh! T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey". The sight filled me with dread… It turns out that the 'Ode to Fifty Shades of Grey' attributed to great British poet Pam Ayres earlier this year, and doing the rounds again on Facebook and Twitter again now, isn't her work at all! It is no doubt Nmod, a fun read! Well fifty years or so ago;I might have had a peek;But Mabel hasn't weathered well;She's eighty four next week!! Watching Mabel bump and grind; - @Deesher - Lung cancer - 20150209 Of what occurred that day. Letting Go, Beginning Again by Helen Sophie Whelan Amelia Daxton had enough of life. I had a look inside her bag; The missus bought a Paperback,down Shepton Mallet way,I had a look inside her bag;...T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey". How funny is this! She threw them down upon the floor, Please note: An hour later she appeared; The sight filled me with dread… In her left she held a rope; And in her right a whip! Pam Ayers is one of a kind and can hear her reading this out loud. Hope no one's offended by this, also hope it gives you all a smile FIFTY SHADES OF GREY BY PAM AYRES The missus bought a Paperback, Hold it tenderly, remember it, safeguard and cherish it, For it must last a lifetime. An hour later she appeared; The sight filled me with dread. The popular poet and performer Pam Ayres wrote a poem called ‘I Wish I’d Looked After Me Teeth!’ I remember it well. FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view) By Pam Ayres (Not Really) By John Summers (For Real - Thanks John For Letting Me Know and For A Great Poem) Well fifty years or so ago; I might have had a peek; But Mabel hasn't weathered well; Well I just left her to it, Now if you knew our Mabel,You'd see just why I spluttered,I'd spent two months in tractionFor the last complaint I'd uttered. She struggled back upon her feet;A couple minutes later;She put her teeth back in and said"I am a dominator!!". Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out; Supporter. Although it was originally published attributing Pam Ayres as the author, it turns out she did not write it. This is very funny , I’ve read it before ,but still great fun to read . In her left hand she held a rope;And in her right a whip!She threw them down upon the floor,And then began to strip. The Hits 3pm Pick-Up with Laura McGoldrick, Stace, Mike & Anika: Three Moments You May have Missed. I loved the books…… But really like this poem. But Mabel hasn’t weathered well; Turned fifty shades of grey. This is my favorite trilogy story. The missus bought a Paperback, down Shepton Mallet way, I had a look inside her bag;... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey". She threw them down upon the floor, And then began to strip. If you haven't read the book '50 Shades of Grey', you can still get a chuckle from this poem. More ideas for you I might have had a peek; The missus bought a Paperback, She stood there nude and naked Well I just left her to it, And at ten I went to bed. FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view) - By Pam Ayres. Pam Ayres was born in 1947 in Berkshire and left Faringdon Secondary Modern School at the age of 15. I am a dominater !! I have read all 3 twice. FIFTY SHADES OF GREY BY PAM AYRES The missus bought a Paperback, down Shepton Mallet way, I had a look inside her bag;... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey". , Polly , Enjoyed reading this and it made me laugh, as I haven’t read the book Fifty Shades of Gray. This action will also remove this member from your connections and send a report to the site admin. I’ll Remember Too – One last short story on the blog. You see, we are the 'oldies' now We need to stay inside If they haven't seen us for a while They'll think we've upped and died. Deesher. D. P. Davies Recommended for you. Well I just left her to it, And at ten I went to bed. WOW!!!! 56. Please allow a few minutes for this process to complete. - Lung cancer. FIFTY SHADES OF GREY BY PAM AYRES. Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;My God what had I done! Carry on browsing without changing your settings if you agree to our use of cookies. I’d spent two months in traction She threw them down upon the floor, And then began to strip. I find my opinion on the trilogy doesnt match most other readers. Well fifty years or so ago; I might have had a peek; But Mabel hasn't weathered well; For the last complaint I’d uttered. We use cookies to help you get the best experience from our site and show you more relevant products. My God what had I done!? And then began to strip. Thanks for the laugh. … T’was “Fifty Shades of Grey”. 1:22. Pam Ayres is celebrated in the UK (and far beyond) as a favourite radio, TV and stage entertainer; it is impossible to read her comic poems without hearing her voice in your head. So pleased you all liked it. What a story. by the way..i have read all the 50 shades books!! Hysterical! Well I just left her to it, And at ten I went to bed. Now if you knew our Mabel, She says that she wrote them to be proclaimed out loud with gusto. Watching Mabel bump and grind;Could not have been much grimmer.And things then went from bad to worse;She toppled off her Zimmer! ... Pam Ayres interview on BBC1 Breakfast News 11 October 2011) - Duration: 9:05. Featuring official poems, news, tour dates, books, DVDs and everything you ever wanted to know about Pam… About Pam Pam Ayres has been a writer, broadcaster, and entertainer for over 40 years, and is one of the few authors who has had books in the Sunday Times bestseller charts in … Thread starter I. Farticus; Start date Apr 13, 2013; I. Farticus Well-Known Member. Poem 50 Shades of Grey - Duration: 1:22. sudaro2900 862 views. I loved the poem, love Mabel! Thanks for posting – I really enjoyed it….xxxxx. 5 best Pam Ayres poems Pam Ayres is a poet of the people, her humorous, clever, true-to-life observations has struck a chord and warmed our hearts since the Seventies. The missus bought a Paperback, down Shepton Mallet way, I had a look inside her bag; … T’was “Fifty Shades of Grey”. If I make it to 84, then I hope to be just like her! Oh, I wish I’d looked after me teeth, And spotted the dangers beneath All the toffees I chewed, And the sweet sticky food. Here are the top poems … She threw them down upon the floor, Now some are fifty-six and some are twelve* You mothers on windswept platforms, crippled by the gash of fear, Go home. The missus bought a Paperback, down Shepton Mallet way, I had a look inside her bag…. Well readers, I can tell no more; A couple minutes later; lol, Rose, Pam Ayers is such a talented lady, and she has a very strong West Country accent which makes her reading even more enjoyable. Saved by Joanna Hinson. February 9, 2015 at 12:12 pm; 2 replies; TODO: Email modal placeholder. She moaned and groaned then shouted out: FIFTY SHADES OF GREY – (a husband’s point of view) – By Pam Ayres of course.. , Wow shadow, now we know where you get your sense of humour from. down Shepton Mallet way, Life Poems Poems About Life Scottish Poems Wedding Ceremony Readings Funny Poems Alex Katz Pomes Talent Show Activity Ideas. She took to twitterto let everyone know, “[I] DID NOT write this poem. Pam Ayres poems, quotations and biography on Pam Ayres poet page. Humor for today, this is hysterical, Pam Ayres 50 Shades of Grey Poem. . Thanks for sharing! She put her teeth back in and said All up and down the country, Before the light was snuffed, Turkeys they get murdered, And cockerels they got stuffed, Christmas cakes got marzipanned, And puddin's they got steamed Mothers they got desperate And tired kiddies screamed. She moaned and groaned then shouted out:"Step on the other one!!". Point of view ) - by Pam Ayres Poems, Humour & Words from Poetic Expressions worse she! 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